Families For Life | Family Rules-Young Children
As a parent, you play a big role in setting up boundaries and expectations for your child, as well as enforcing consistent and appropriate consequences when these are not met.
How can you go about setting clear rules and reinforcing limits for your child?
1. Actively involving your child in rule discussions and decision-making
Each family has their own unique set of rules to follow. These rules reflect how family members are expected to behave, look after one another, and treat each other. Creating family rules needs to be a two-way discussion between you and your child.
Keep rules simple
Set expectations that are easy to understand, as well as clear and logical consequences for breaking rules
Ensure rules are positively phrased as what should be done, rather than what should not be done (e.g. “Say kind words” instead of “Don’t be rude”)
2. Be selective and keep to a few rules
Prioritise setting rules for important topics such as:
Safety (putting on seatbelts)
Daily routines (e.g. chores, homework)
Balanced use of devices (e.g. when and for how long devices can be used)
How to treat one another (e.g. respecting others)
3. Discuss and create rules with all family members
Regularly involving your child from a young age can help them better understand the importance of, as well as be more likely to accept and abide by, the rules since they helped in developing those rules
Help your child understand what the rules are and the reasons behind them (e.g. the rules are for their safety and well-being, not to make them miserable)
If your child feels that a rule is unfair, have an open discussion with them and consider compromises where appropriate
As an adult your child looks up to, it is important for you to set an example for them to follow
Hence, adults in the family should also adhere to rules that apply to all family members.
For younger children:
Do note that more support and reminders may be needed to keep to family rules. Besides setting rules that are tied to external rewards and consequences, it is important to help them be intrinsically motivated to follow rules (e.g. I should go for football training so I can get better at the sport).
Set rules that help them manage how they spend their time (e.g. go to bed by 9.30pm)
Keep in mind that the ultimate goal of setting and reviewing family rules is to help your child grow into an adult with the right values and self-control that will guide them in making wise choices.
Contributed by: Parenting for Wellness