Having a baby is a big milestone in any couple’s life. In addition to the love and responsibilities which you have pledged to each other, you will now have another wonderful person in your life. Someone that you hope, will inherit the best qualities which each of you sees in the other, someone who will complete your family circle and multiply the love and joy which the 2 of you already have for each other.
New parents however, are often so caught up in caring for and exalting in the new arrival, that they change their lives to revolve exclusively around the baby. Where, once, the 2 of you were partners in an adventure called life; now you are just partners in the care of your newborn infant.
Whilst it is true that a new baby needs and deserves a lot of parental attention, at the same time, it doesn’t need to become the complete focus of your lives 24 hours a day. Your baby needs to have 2 loving and happy parents, not just 2 attentive and committed caregivers. What this really means is that you need to continue to build and grow your relationship with each other even after baby’s arrival.
5 Things You Can Do to Rekindle Your Romance
The first thing that usually gets lost in the reshuffle that happens after baby’s arrival, is that sense of romance and deep interest which you have in each other. You need to recapture that in order to begin to see yourselves as a couple again. Here are a few ways that can help to rekindle the romance in your relationship.
1. Conversations without Baby
Try to make sure that you have at least 1 or 2 conversations a day which have nothing to do with your baby. Don’t mention the word baby, don’t talk about your feelings about the baby and don’t plan what you are going to do this weekend with your baby. Just focus on each other and ask about all the things which you have stopped asking about since baby arrived. Questions such as: How was work today? Is there something special that you would like to do this weekend? How are you feeling? Questions and discussions which focus on both of you as individuals will help you to see each other as more than a fellow parent.
2. Technology Makes a Difference
As new parents, you probably have very little time to spend alone with each other, but anytime you send each other a mobile text, tweet or photo or video, you are spending those moments alone and only with each other. The great thing about technology is that those moments can occur at different times for each of you. You might send you wife a message in the morning, she might see it after baby has settled down for a morning nap, but even if you are not simultaneously connected, the emotions and feelings that the message, photo, video or voice recording give you are almost the same as if you were together at the time the message was sent.
3. Dating at Home
True, you probably can’t leave the house much when your baby is young. But you can date at home. Get your kids and the baby into bed earlier, 8.30pm is a great time. This leaves you with about 1 and a half hours of time to do anything you please. So don’t waste your together time on folding the laundry, fixing your presentation or making baby food tomorrow – you can do all those things on your own the next day. Use it to unwind and relate to each other. Watch a video, play some music, eat dessert, read books to each other - whatever it is that you both enjoy.
4. Practice Random Acts of Kindness
Romance is all about the little things. The little things you do for each other which tell you that you are special. So go ahead and tell your wife that you will take care of the 3am feeding tonight, pick up a the latest copy of your husband’s favourite magazine, buy flowers and a cake for your wife on the way home. All these little acts of kindness say “I love you” in more ways that you can imagine.
Don’t lose sight of the physical aspects of your relationship. Don’t stop hugging, kissing and cuddling just because you are now the happy parents of an adorable baby!
Tags: Communication /Intimacy