It is difficult when the love of your life finds it hard to see eye to eye with your parents. It can also be very tiring and stressful to constantly be the bridge between these two parties. There are however, many little things which you can do to help your parents and your spouse build a healthy and positive relationship.
Start Things Off Well
Make an effort early in the relationship for your parents and your spouse to get to know each other. Arrange to introduce them to each other in a way which will help them to see the positives you see in each of them.
Meet Regularly in a Friendly Environment
Even if things didn’t start of well, you can help to steer their relationship back to a positive one by arranging to meet up regularly. Choose a familiar environment with an informal setting where mediation can be made swiftly if necessary.
Planning out some fun and simple activities, like board games, allows everyone to participate in some friendly competition and to break the ice without the need for much conversation.
You can also create situations where your parents and your spouse have to learn and cooperate with one another, such as planning for your child’s birthday. Such situations can be good platforms to build up understanding and appreciation of each other.
Be Open About Wanting to Make Things Work
Do not be afraid to voice out your concerns. Speak out and let both sides know that your relationship with either party is just as important and significant as the other. Let them know that there should be no compromises on your part and that learning to live with one another can be achieved.
Speak to your parents separately and ask how and why they do not get along with your spouse. Sometimes problems may be trivial and easily rectified, and if corrected it can lead to a quick improvement in the relationship. However, if the problem is deep-rooted, it may be best to ease in your efforts and not rush either party in reaching a common understanding.
Living Together, Getting Along
If you and your spouse live with your parents, there are likely to be quite few areas of potential conflict. These are most likely to come from differing family habits and personalities. Help your parents and spouse see this as natural. Encourage both parties to get to know a little about each other’s likes and dislikes and help them to work together to find compromises that they are all comfortable with.
In the meantime however, take the time to get your spouse and parents together away from home for simple things like dinner or walks. Knowing that they still have access to you directly and individually will go a long way towards making each of them feel secure and appreciated.
- Get to the root of the issue, always find out how and why the relationship is broken and work out the steps needed to repair and put right the situation. You may discover that some incidences can be trivial and easily put right.
- Think of methods or activities which encourage both parties to get to know each other better, instead of avoiding one another in fear of fights or disagreements. Ignoring the problem will inevitably lead to a deeper strain in the relationship between them.
- If the problem stems from sharing the same roof, take both parties out to provide a neutral and different setting. Allow them to enjoy each other’s company away from the pressures of home.
Tags: In-Laws /Family Issues