According to bestselling author and marriage counsellor Dr Gary Chapman, couples express love for each other in five main ways: words of affirmation, gift-giving, acts of service, quality time and physical touch. But wires get crossed and things may get hairy when couples “speak” different love languages.
For instance if your love language is words of affirmation but your better half decides to show the depths of his affection by gallantly doing the laundry, he may be sorely let down by your lack of appreciation.
The solution is simple – identify your partner’s love language and use it! Knowing your other half’s love language means that when anniversaries, birthdays and other special days come around, you’ll know exactly what to give that tickles his or her fancy.
Try these tantalising tips, if his or her love language is…
Words of affirmation
A poet or writer you may not be, but sincere, heartfelt words will always stand the test of time. If saying sweet-nothings is not your cuppa tea, pen a heartfelt letter to your lady (or laddie) love instead! Looking for a grander gesture of love? A wedding vow renewal in front of friends and family will fill that love tank right up.
It’s the thought that counts when it comes to picking presents that your partner prizes. If your mate’s passion is collecting quirky mugs, how about having a go at the pottery wheel and making your own one-of-a-kind masterpiece to mark the occasion?
Acts of service
Laundry or dish washing not his fav chore? Surprise him with practical acts of love by getting them done, just the way he likes it. Likewise, if caring for the kids is stressing her out, send her out for a foot rub or a facial while you take care of the little ones at home.
Carve out some alone time to talk and catch up after the kids have gone to bed. Indulge in leisurely meals and long conversations to relive those good ol’ dating days!
Nothing says “I love you” more than deep hugs and gentle kisses – yes, even after decades of married life! To your soul mate, small tender displays of everyday affection like holding hands or a protective arm around the waist is a reassuring sign of abiding love.